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A Leap of Faith and a New Attitude


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fear with chronic illness | Banner for "No Tears for Sarcoidosis" by Charlton Harris

Last week, I took a leap of faith, and it’s given me a new outlook on things.

I had taken my car to the dealership for service. It turns out that it needed a whole lot more than an oil change; the mechanic told me that getting a new car might be a better way to spend my money than trying to have all the repairs done on the one I was driving.

I’ve been out of work since 2016, the year before I was forced to start paying closer attention to my health issues. When I was working, I knew I had pulmonary sarcoidosis, but it remained in the background until about three years ago.

I’ve been able to make ends meet by drawing from my retirement savings, but not having a job worried me. Nothing was coming my way, and that empty feeling made me feel like a failure. I began to worry that my health would affect my ability to get a job.

But through it all, I’ve managed to keep my cool. Even amid mounting health, family, and financial issues, I have stayed calm. I’m surprised my post-traumatic stress disorder didn’t kick in. Instead, I felt like I was taking a little bit of a timeout to better assess what it was I was dealing with, and how I could somehow make things better.

And then — my car.

The next day, I went to the bank with all of the apprehension a man could carry on his shoulders. The night before, I had convinced my wife that we needed to put the home improvement loan we had been approved for on hold. A car was more important. I needed to be able to get to my doctor appointments.

But then, some sunshine. At the bank, I was told my credit rating was excellent; I could get a loan for a new car at a good rate. I felt like somebody again. Somebody important. For three years, I had been focused on keeping things from getting worse, focused only on the negative.

But now I was looking at an opportunity. I took the leap.

Actually being able to secure a loan for a new car at a good rate has been the motivation I needed to put myself back in the game, to start looking for work again. Who knew that the thing that kept me up at night worrying would be the thing to motivate me to get back in the game?

A long time ago, I was told, “There’s no player like a mortgage payer!” In other words, if you’re not paying your own way, you’re living by someone else’s dream. It’s about time I got motivated again. Putting myself out there has made me feel accountable, and this little victory has made me feel like there are still more out there waiting for me.

There’s still some roar under this hood of mine. The lesson? Reclaim your spirit, claim your life, and own your adventure.


Note: Sarcoidosis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Sarcoidosis News or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to sarcoidosis.

The post A Leap of Faith and a New Attitude appeared first on Sarcoidosis News.

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